Nani, Nana and the Daycare Question: A Grandparents' Perspective from Gurugram

By Chitra Puri, founder of Just Goofing · June 20, 2026

In most Gurugram homes, the daycare decision is not made by two parents alone. It is made by four adults, sometimes five. The grandparents have an opinion. The grandparents usually have a strong opinion. And in a joint family, that opinion is often the deciding vote.

This article is for those families. It is written from notes shared by a nani and nana in Sector 50 who, after months of resistance, eventually became the biggest cheerleaders of their grandson's daycare. Their words, paraphrased.

"Why send the child out when we are right here?"

That was the first question. And it was a fair one. The grandparents had retired. They were healthy. They loved the baby. The house had space. What exactly was a daycare offering that home could not?

The honest answer took a few weeks to land. It was not that the grandparents were doing anything wrong. It was that the child needed something they could not provide alone — a peer group, a structured rhythm, and the chance to figure out how to share a crayon with a stranger.

The peer group changes a child

In a joint family, a toddler is the centre of the universe. Four adults watch every step. Every plate of food is negotiated. Every meltdown is solved by whoever is nearest. The child learns that the world adjusts to them.

In a daycare room with eight other toddlers, the world does not adjust. A child has to wait their turn for the slide. They have to use words instead of pointing because the caregiver is helping someone else. They have to figure out that the red ball is fun even when the blue ball is taken.

This is not cruelty. This is growth. And it is the single biggest thing grandparents at home cannot manufacture.

The grandparents also need a break

Nobody says this out loud, but it matters. Looking after a toddler for ten hours a day is exhausting at thirty. At sixty-five, with a knee that complains and a back that has opinions, it is harder.

Daycare from 9 AM to 5 PM does not replace grandparents. It gives them a window to nap, to walk, to go to the temple, to meet their own friends, to be a person and not just a full-time caregiver. The grandparents in this story said the daycare gave them their afternoons back — and the time they spent with the child after pick-up became more present, less tired.

The bond with the grandparents got stronger, not weaker

This was the surprise. Everyone had expected the child to drift away once daycare started. The opposite happened. The morning ritual of nana making tea while the child ate breakfast became sacred. The evening ritual of nani reading two storybooks before bed became unmissable.

The child started to ask for the grandparents by name. The grandparents stopped being the default and became the special. That is a better deal for everyone.

What changed the grandparents' minds

It was not a brochure or a number. It was a visit. The grandparents came in, sat through a meal, watched a nap routine, met the caregivers, and saw the kitchen. They asked their own questions. The nani asked about food. The nana asked about safety. Both got answers they could verify with their own eyes.

If grandparents in your house are on the fence, do not try to convince them. Bring them along on the visit. Let them ask the questions. Let them watch the room. Most of the resistance dissolves when they see the actual place.

What the grandparents wish they had known earlier

• The child is not being given away. They are being given a peer group.
• Daycare is not a judgement on the family. It is a different tool for a different job.
• The grandparents' role does not shrink. It deepens — fewer hours, more presence.
• It is normal to cry on day one. The grandparents in this story did, and so did the mother.
• The child will come home with new words, new songs, and a fierce attachment to the same grandparents they have always loved.

How grandparents can stay involved

Daycare doesn't replace grandparents; it gives them a different role. In many families we know, grandparents do one or two pickups a week, take the child to the park afterwards, and hear all about the day. Some come for festival celebrations at the centre or drop by to see the room. Children love showing their grandparents "their" space.

• Ask the centre to add grandparents to the authorised pickup list (with ID).
• Share the daily photos with them on the family group.
• Keep a special grandparent ritual for evenings or weekends: a story, a walk, a shared snack.

When grandparents are the main carers

If grandparents are already looking after a child full-time, a few hours of daycare or a Mom & Me class can still help. It gives the child time with other children and gives grandparents a well-earned break, especially with an energetic two-year-old. Many grandparents tell us they enjoy their grandchild more when they aren't exhausted.

Questions grandparents often ask on a daycare visit

• "Who will be with my grandchild all day, and how long have they worked here?"
• "What will the child eat, and who cooks it?"
• "Where do they sleep, and is someone with them during the nap?"
• "What happens if the child is unwell or gets hurt?"
• "Can we visit or call during the day?"

Encourage grandparents to come on the trial visit and ask these themselves. Hearing the answers first-hand, and seeing the room, reassures them far more than a parent's summary.

For the families still figuring it out

If you want to bring the grandparents along for a visit, we welcome it. Visit Just Goofing Daycare any weekday between 11 AM and 12 PM. Bring nani, nana, dadi, dada — all of them. Ask everything. Watch a meal. See a nap. The answers are easier to trust when they are in front of your eyes.

Just Goofing Daycare, C-2, inside Excelsior American School, Sushant Lok Phase I, Sector 43, Gurugram, Haryana 122009. Call +91 78277 91701 to schedule a family visit.