A Dad's Take on Daycare Drop-Off in Gurgaon — Nobody Warned Me About This

By Chitra Puri, founder of Just Goofing · June 16, 2026

A young Indian father in a casual shirt hugging his toddler at a daycare entrance in Gurgaon.

This piece is written from a father's perspective, in his words, shared with us when we asked dads in our parent community to tell us what the daycare transition felt like from their side. We are sharing it because dads almost never get asked.

I was the one who pushed for daycare. My wife was on the fence. I had read the research. Socialisation, language development, immune training, all of it. I argued for it for two months. We agreed. We picked the place. We paid the deposit. I felt good about the decision.

Then the morning came.

My wife had a meeting, so the first drop off was on me. I packed Ira's bag the night before. Two changes of clothes, the labelled bottle, the soft cow she sleeps with, her diaper rash cream, her favourite book in case she needed something familiar. I checked the bag three times.

She held my finger as we walked to the door. She is two and a half. She is small. My hand is large. I noticed the size difference in a way I had not before.

The handover

The caregiver was warm and clear. She took Ira's bag, knelt down to her eye level, and said hello using her name. Ira looked up at me. She was not crying yet. She was checking — is this okay, papa?

I said, "It is okay. I am going to office. I will come back to get you after your snack. You are going to play with the friends and the soft cow is in your bag." I had rehearsed it in the car.

I hugged her. I handed her over. I walked out.

And then, in the corridor, I had to stop and put my hand on the wall for a second. I did not cry. But something tightened in my chest in a way I have not felt before.

What nobody warned me about

Nobody warned me about the silence in the car on the way to work. Two and a half years of mornings with a chatty toddler in the back seat, and suddenly the back seat is empty and the playlist she likes is still queued up and I do not have the heart to change it.

Nobody warned me about how the first work email of the day would feel completely irrelevant.

Nobody warned me about checking the daycare app every 40 minutes for a photo. I have a calendar full of meetings. I still checked.

Nobody warned me that I would tell three of my colleagues, completely unprompted, "I dropped my daughter at daycare today for the first time." Like it was news. Like they needed to know. They were kind about it.

What helped

Pick up was the cure. She ran to me. She had paint on her hands. She said "papa" in the same voice she always says it in. She had survived. So had I.

The didi gave me a 30 second verbal update — what Ira ate, how long she napped, that she did not cry after the first ten minutes, that she really liked the song with the elephant. I listened to all of it. I asked a follow up question. I would have stood there for an hour if she had been willing.

A drop-off routine that works (from our caregivers)

The parents whose children settle fastest tend to follow the same short routine every day:

  • Leave home at the same time, and use the drive for something familiar, like the same song.
  • Let your child do one small job at the door: press the bell, carry their bag.
  • Shoes off, bag in the cubby, one hug, one kiss.
  • Say the same sentence every day: "Papa is going to office. I'll come after your snack."
  • Leave without lingering at the window.

The whole thing should take under three minutes. Predictability matters more than the words you choose; once a child knows exactly what will happen, the protest usually fades.

Share drop-offs between parents

If one parent does every drop-off, a child can find it hard when the other parent takes over. Where possible, alternate from the start, so your child gets used to saying goodbye to either of you. It also means neither parent carries the whole emotional load of the first weeks.

Three things to check in the first month

  • Is your child eating and sleeping at daycare?
  • Do they mention a caregiver or friend by name?
  • By week three, do they walk in calmly most days?

If the answers are yes, the tears at the door are just the goodbye, not a sign something is wrong.

What I would tell other dads

  • Do at least the first drop off yourself. Not because your partner cannot, but because the feeling is something worth sitting with. It changes how seriously you take the place you have chosen.
  • Pack the bag yourself the first week. You will pay attention to details you would have otherwise outsourced.
  • Be the one who reads the daily update properly, not just the headline. Read what she ate. Read who she played with. It is your child's day. Show up for it.
  • Do not perform being fine. If it gets to you, that is good. It means you are paying attention.
  • Ask the caregiver questions like you would ask a doctor. Be specific. Care visibly.

Daycare is not a thing my wife does for our daughter. It is a thing we do together. The drop off is part of it. So is the pick up. So is the bag. So is the WhatsApp message at 11 AM asking how breakfast went.

I am writing this because dads do not really talk about this stuff and we should. If you are a dad in Gurgaon thinking about daycare for your child — go visit the centre yourself, not just with your wife. Walk in any weekday between 11 AM and 12 PM. Call +91 78277 91701 to set it up.

Just Goofing Daycare, C-2, inside Excelsior American School, Sushant Lok Phase I, Sector 43, Gurugram, Haryana 122009.